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Even for the most confident of personalities, writing a wedding speech is a daunting task, particularly when it comes to striking the right tone.

Guests will be expecting a mix of humour, anecdotes and warm tributes, and the attempt to blend the three can be tricky, even more so if the bride and groom have invited a wide selection of guests. The guide below takes an in-depth look at how to deliver a perfectly pitched best man speech.

Best Man Speeches: Writing Tips

Delivering a best man’s speech can be a nerve wracking experience, particularly if you have very little experience of public speaking. However, it’s vital to bear in mind that in this particular scenario, you will not have to work hard to win over the crowd, as everyone will be on a natural high due to the nature of the occasion. Often with a best man speech, the opening line can be the biggest hurdle, but it’s sensible to ground the speech around a central theme, anecdote and structure and build backwards to settle on an appropriate tone.

Practice your best lines over and over again, as, as with any speech, pacing is all important. First explain to the crowd your connection with the groom, as some of the seated guests may want to learn more about your link. This is your opportunity to introduce some early humour into proceedings by recalling anecdotes about how the two of you first met and your initial impressions of the groom (highlighting some of his quirks which will always guarantee a laugh). Keep things relatively clean, as should guests from all generations be present, inappropriate jokes may fall flat.

Ensure your speech follows some sort of thread; whilst it can be tempting simply to recall a series of anecdotes about both bride and groom, the overall message needs to convey how the bride and groom were made for each other, culminating with the traditional toasts. In order to achieve this, a good ‘bridging point’ for the speech to help move it to its ultimate message is the moment where you add some of your own personal reflections on the first time your friend met his future bride.

Whilst your best friend can be the victim of some gentle ribbing in the speech for the purposes of humour, generally only kind words should be reserved for the bride. For that reason, it’s not unusual for best man speeches to include some reference to how the bride managed to transform aspects of the groom’s personality and foibles.

All attempts at humour should be toned down as the speech reaches a climax, where your tributes should be heartfelt and sincere without sounding excessively sentimental.

Finally, with the exception of the introduction, it’s important to keep the focus of the speech focused on the bride and groom’s narrative at all times (guests aren’t gathered at the event to hear your life story) before bringing the speech to the traditional finale that’s often a highlight of wedding photography, the toasting of the happy couple.